Tagged: flags

Oh Christmas Flag

National flags of red, white, and green.

National flags of red, white, and green.

Santa’s got some serious pull, and he loves his Christmas colors.  Not by coincidence, pick the flag of some random country, and it’ll probably sport lots of holiday hues: 30% red, 30% white, and 10% green, on average.  St. Nick isn’t okay with part-way, however – he’s always lobbying for more.  To the right, we’ve included his trophy case: the thirty national flags with completely Yule-conformant coloring.  Ho ho ho, indeed!

While researching a recent article on flags and utopia, I accidentally overdosed on these holiday colors and contracted a serious case of the Christmas spirit.  As if piloted by elves, I gathered needle, thread, scissors, and fabric, ponied up to the work table, and began to frantically cut and sew.  The house shook under a raging storm of red, white, and green.  Then, my head cleared, leftover scraps of cloth settled to the floor, and…

With some help from cherubs above, I’d channeled the holidays – or rather, a bit of their essence – into three Yule-hued flags of Christmas!  I’ve included them below, and you can click on each one to see a larger version suitable for wallpaper display.

First, don your tinted eyewear, and bask in the brilliant glow of the Rising-Sun-inspired Flag of the Over-Electrified Christmas Tree:

Flag of the Over-Electrified Christmas Tree

Flag of the Over-Electrified Christmas Tree

Next, sample the strong, Brute!-esque diagonals, somewhat evocative of Soviet propaganda, of the banner of Rooftop, Christmas Morning, 2am:

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The Flag Of Pure Bliss

Banners For A Perfect World

Dear Orwell, Dick, and Heinlein: your broken societies are fine.  I love it when you opine, and I don’t mean to whine, but more I must decline.  Because…

It’s time to get our utopia on!  Let’s dissolve all nations.  Break down the borders.  Unite!  Derive all our energy from the sun.  Harmonize with higher powers.  Open our chakras.  Harness our Ch’i.  Enjoy endless leisure.  Swap sweet serenades in Franco-Portuguesperanto.  And dine on terrific fusion food: sushi Szechuan, pad paneer, bi bim burrito, crepes creole, and more!

Shemar Moore and Eva Longoria

Shemar Moore and Eva Longoria

In our Rave New World, the gene pool dances a global lambada.  Humanity’s tones – the myriad shades of white, yellow, tan, red, and black, evolved over millennia of separation – melt straightaway to a radiant Mediterranean brown.  Everyone comes with healthy skin, excellent bone structure, and supermodel good looks – just like Shemar Moore and Eva Longoria.  Mrow!

In honor of those two alluring stars, we christen our utopia as Shemar-Longoriana.  We’ll also need a flag: to affix to the bumper of the AirRover, paint on our faces for the Pan Galactic Championship game, and hoist to the top of the otherwise vacant staffs.

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