Tagged: shopping

Miraculous 34th Street

My road to Christmas is paved with good intentions.  Every January, I smugly reassure myself: “This year I’ll finish my holiday shopping before Halloween.”  Then, fun is had, time flies, and oops!  It’s two short weeks until December 25th – yet still, the empty gift closet weeps in loneliness.

Oh, flippin’ Tannenbaum!  Now, I’m swamped by a seasonal tsunami of yuletide commitments: to procure the tree, deck the halls, roast the chestnuts, concoct the eggnog, plan the caroling route, and countless similar endeavors.  To avoid the permanent stigma of doling out envelopes of cash on Christmas morning, I need to do something, and fast.  Online won’t work, because I require the visual stimulation and tactile feedback of an in-the-flesh buying experience.  So, on to Plan B: the Streamlined, One-Day, All-Inclusive, Tommy-Gun-Style Shopping Spree.

But where?  On the left coast, Los Angeles offers cute boutiques, and for amusing junk, San Francisco’s Chinatown Crap Stores can’t be beat.  However, at this most wonderful time of the year, I pine for the thriving retail ecosystem of the original Metropolis: New York City, born itself of a legendary transaction of beads and trinkets!

Could I fly to the Big Apple, dispatch my gift list in a single day, and ship everything back to California?  And, if so, where should I go for the utmost in supercharged shopping?

To answer those questions, I utilized AggData’s extensive collection of geolocated chain data to visualize Manhattan and surroundings, with store locations marked by dots and color-coded by the number within a ten-minute walk:

New York City In Chains

New York City In Chains. Click the image for a larger version!

The map includes retail, food, auto, service, and entertainment establishments, and represents 285 corporate entities with a total of 2800-plus locations inside the featured 12 by 12 miles.

Hark!  For bathed in mid-Manhattan’s glow, the herald angels sing!  Saks Fifth Avenue warbles of well-heeled merchandise.  The illuminated billboards of Times Square belt out a boisterous call.  And, from under the art-deco spire of the Empire State Building, broadcast the magnificent melodies of New York City’s Retail Epicenter: the place within a ten-minute walk of the largest number of our chain locations: more than one hundred.  Built upon this hallowed ground and framed by the coursing arteries of Broadway and 7th Avenue is Macy’s flagship department store: a Miracle On 34th Street to the desperate Christmas shopper, indeed!

To visit the core of midtown Manhattan is to stroll into a gigantic open-air mall – a square of concentrated commerce, one-and-a-half miles on each side – peppered with restaurants, hotels, and assorted creature comforts.  There, our anxieties melt away as thousands of stores make quick work of that pesky gift list.  Our taste buds rejoice for the universe of delectable foodstuffs.  And, at day’s end, on Broadway, our cultivated side celebrates retail triumph.  Elsewhere, last-minute Christmas shopping might be a chore; but in New York City, it’s a wonderful life!

Where The Buffalo Roamed

How Far Can You Get From McDonald's?

This summer, cruising down the I-5 through California’s Central Valley to the Los Angeles Basin, I unwittingly stumbled upon a most exasperating development: the country strip mall.  First, let me state that I don’t hate.  I’ve got nothing against Petco, Starbucks, OfficeMax, et al.  When overcome by the desire for a cubic yard of kitty litter, a carafe of pre-Columbian frappasmoochino, or fifty gross of pink highlighter pens, I’m there in a jiffy!

But, Mr. Real Estate Tycoon, did you have to plop your shopping center smack dab in the middle of what was previously nowhere?  Okay, the land was cheap.  And yes, you did traffic studies and proved that the interstate and distant suburbs would drench whatever you built in a raging torrent of eager consumerism.  But your retail monstrosity drains the wildness from the countryside for twenty miles in every direction!  Sure, you can’t see it from everywhere – but once you know it’s there, you feel it.  In the rural drawl of a neighboring rancher, that flat-out sucks!

Which begs the question: just how far away can you get from our world of generic convenience?  And how would you figure that out?

As I hurtled down the highway, a pair of golden arches crept over the horizon, and the proverbial lightbulb smacked me in the forehead.  To gauge the creep of cookie-cutter commercialism, there’s no better barometer than McDonald’s – ubiquitous fast food chain and inaugural megacorporate colonizer of small towns nationwide.

So, I set out to determine the farthest point from a Micky Dee’s – in the lower 48 states, at least.  This endeavor required information, and the nice folks at AggData were kind enough to provide it to me: a complete list of all 13,000-or-so U.S. restaurants, in CSV format, geolocated for maximum convenience.  From there, a bit of software engineering gymnastics, and…

Behold, a visualization of the contiguous United States, colored by distance to the nearest domestic McDonald’s!

The contiguous United States, visualized by distance to the nearest McDonald's.  Click on the image for a larger version!

The contiguous United States, visualized by distance to the nearest McDonald's. Click on the image for a larger version!

You can download a bigger, wallpaper-ready version of the visualization, too!

As expected, McDonald’s cluster at the population centers and hug the highway grid.  East of the Mississippi, there’s wall-to-wall coverage, except for a handful of meager gaps centered on the Adirondacks, inland Maine, the Everglades, and outlying West Virginia.

For maximum McSparseness, we look westward, towards the deepest, darkest holes in our map: the barren deserts of central Nevada, the arid hills of southeastern Oregon, the rugged wilderness of Idaho’s Salmon River Mountains, and the conspicuous well of blackness on the high plains of northwestern South Dakota.  There, in a patch of rolling grassland, loosely hemmed in by Bismarck, Dickinson, Pierre, and the greater Rapid City-Spearfish-Sturgis metropolitan area, we find our answer.

Between the tiny Dakotan hamlets of Meadow and Glad Valley lies the McFarthest Spot: 107 miles distant from the nearest McDonald’s, as the crow flies, and 145 miles by car!

Suffer a Big Mac Attack out there, and you’re hurtin’ for certain!  For a coupla hours, at least, unless graced by the tender blessings of “manna from heaven” – that is, a fast food air drop from the Medi-Copter.

Update: See “The Hungry Midwest” for a regional zoom of this map.

Pickings

Not for long!

Not for long!

A good buy and myself are peas in a pod.  And last week, happenstance found me within sight of the local Circuit City liquidation sale.  Bubbling hopes of bargains turned my feet store-wards.  And, much like at the end of that cross-country trip that you can’t remember driving, I found myself inside.

What I saw there wasn’t pretty.  Mountains of dingy, dinged, and dented merchandise, marked down a mere half-off of the bloated retail price, clinging to the racks like miscellaneous debris from a high tide.  Random open boxes, hopelessly wounded, entrails dangling off of the shelves and onto the floor.  Overhead, zombie hordes of unwanted Wii sports controllers, staring hungrily down upon the hapless shoppers.

I felt that I should leave.  Then, as if on cue, a heaven-sent shaft of light beamed through the automatic front doors.  It lit up a small patch of floorspace, where the retail fixtures and equipment, the meat of the operation, sat, tidy and largely untouched.  Shelves, bins, signs, dollies, bulletin boards, labelling machines, and a myriad of other things, each somewhat alike its compadres, but also subtly, strangely different.

Of all the things I saw there, it was round trip totes - industrial-strength plastic boxes with lids, used to hold merchandise on the store room racks - that connected with me most.  Sturdy, stackable, and four cubic feet a piece.  As I lined up to purchase a ream of them, a curious man with a foreign accent queried me for the price.  “Five bucks each,” I replied.  After a few seconds of careful pondering, he offered a nugget of wisdom: “Many Uses.”  Oh, so true, Confucius dude.

Another standout were the security gates – those store entrance towers that trip the alarms when pilferers pass.  The discerning shopper’s for a mere $100 each.  My thoughts drifted to years gone by.  Imagine a set of those bad boys framing the front door to the pad, a shoebox full of magnetic tags, and “Party at my house!”   Hilarity would have definitely ensued…

If the economic downturn is clouds, big box bankruptcies just might be the silver lining!